Imagine...

A couple of weeks ago I was in NYC and I went to Central Park. This has not been a rare occurrence throughout my life since I grew up in Brooklyn. On this occasion I had time to kill before meeting a friend so I decided to grab a cookie at Levian's Bakery which has the most delicious cookies.I highly recommend if you are in the city and have never tired them before(http://www.levainbakery.com). Trust me. Anyway, after I brought the cookie(okay two cookies,but I shared them later with my friend) I headed into the park and sat on a bench right near The Imagine memorial for John Lennon.(I took the picture above).

The strange thing is for all the times I've been to Central Park I've never seen the memorial, even though I've looked for it before and it's right by the C train 72nd Street stop. There is no way I should have missed it!I've come right there for various charity walks,a half-marathon I did a couple of years ago, and I even took a philosophy class a few blocks away, but I never once passed it. It alluded me. It just makes me think that sometimes what you are looking for can be right in front of you, but you miss seeing it for whatever reason. Then when you are ready it presents itself effortlessly into your life. Of course, that doesn't always happen, but that's my take away.

Sangria Anyone?

So I'm not really anymore enlightened at 30 then I was at 28. I know this is shocking. I thought I'd be all kinds of enlightened by now. Perhaps because I haven't kept up with the blogging. That's a possibility.

Actually, it occurred to me while drinking sangria and listening to music alone at 3:30am on a Monday,that maybe my life isn't going in the right direction. True, I've always been a night owl, but the reality is I've been in a bad place emotionally for a long while now. I've tried therapy,mediation,self-help books,and anything else I could think of to try to snap myself out of this depression that I'm in. I even started a gratitude journal in an attempt to remind myself of my blessings!

I know I'm lucky in a lot of ways. However,I haven't been able to find a full-time job in the past two years, which has been disheartening. Oh and,of course my non-existent relationship bullshit. I don't want to be overtly negative;I have always had trouble seeing the forest through the trees I guess.

Since I've lost my job two years I have:

Been in my best friend's wedding
Traveled to Italy
Lived in California
Met the man of my dreams(really, but, yeah, no)
Met some amazing people in general
Lost forty pounds(so far)
Started this amazing blog!(yay)

My mantra has also been "Everything happens for a reason." A lot of these things wouldn't have happened if I haven't lost my job and are goals and dreams humbled and a lot better since I listed good things that came from losing something I thought I wanted.I think now I have to trust in the best possible outcome.